This post is my first in a while. I have been busy preparing for an upcoming free webinar. In case you are interested, here is the link to register: https://my.demio.com/ref/xjH51nXGdItWjDuh
No pressure, I just felt it would be remiss of me not to invite you, especially since you are kind enough to be reading my blog.
I wanted to share something pretty awesome that I learned. I recently read a great marketing book by Tim Brownson, another life coach who I greatly respect and admire. (I have provided the link, but I promise you I get no kickbacks if you choose to purchase the book.) The author discusses the importance of knowing your core values since they can be the source of information needed to get out of stuck states, move forward with a new career, repair (or end) broken relationships, etc.
I had never thought about my core values; when I used Mr. Brownson's "Clarity Method", I was amazed to find that what I would have thought would be my primary core value (family) was not. It was at the top, but not the utmost, number one value. It turned out that everything I do in my life is to maintain peace of mind, including the health and welfare of my family. It was pretty eye-opening, but I realized I should not have been surprised when I meditated on it.
It has taken me a long time to get to a point where I am comfortable with my life. Before I was constantly stress and it was only through soul-searching and effort that I am now at ease in my skin. I was not consciencely aware of behaviors that were designed to make me feel more "Zen." For instance, I like things to be beautiful because they make me feel good and give me joy. Our home and garden are full of colors and pieces of art that give us pleasure. My motivation is to make everything around me and my loved ones that are beneficial to both body and soul. I dislike discord, so I consider honesty a significant value because we can all be on an even playing field if everyone is honest. Unfortunately, that does not always work because some people avoid discord by lying rather than talking things out. I also feel intelligence and creativity are essential because when people think things through and spend time being creative, there is less chance they will damage other people. However, these are my values and I do not expect you to agree with them or adopt them in any way. You certainly have your own, even if you are not sure what they are just yet.
Enough about my values and why they are essential to me (there was a lot more on the list, but I didn't want to bore you.) After uncovering my core values, I began to think about past clients and how I might have used this technique. It dawned on me that I had, although in a less than systematic way. I had one woman client who was moving to another state and needed to find a job, which was causing her a lot of stress. She had worked in human resources in the past, but she said she did not want to do that anymore. After asking her some critical questions, we uncovered that she enjoyed the human aspects of H.R; unfortunately, her past position focused way too much on administrative duties that she loathed. Once she understood that only parts of H.R. were disagreeable, she could think about what she was looking for in another job. Happily, a company that she liked hired her, and soon after, she moved to her new state. Sadly (for me), she told me she would no longer need to have sessions with me. I lost a client, but the point of being a career coach is to guide clients to a job that makes them feel successful, so they fly the nest (so to speak).
I was able to help her get her results with a lot of back and forth, which took a bit of time and several sessions. I now know the answer was right there in her values. If we had discovered her values using my newly learned method, I think we would have found that she required human interaction and enjoyed nurturing people. Being stuck behind a desk doing administrative duties was an anathema to her value system.
You can think of living according to your core values as being true to yourself. For instance, if you are very light-hearted and value humor, working somewhere that is stiff and stodgy will probably make you miserable. You might take a job that is not a good fit for your values because it fits your skill set, has great benefits, and has a good reputation. However, in the long wrong, the incongruity will send you packing after months (possibly years) of stress and unhappiness. I know; as they say, "been there, done that."
Ever wonder how someone can do an extremely stressful job, yet they never seem to want to retire? Their core values are aligned with those of the job or corporation. It's as simple as that.
It all might seem like a no-brainer, but I bet if someone asked you to come up with ten core values and then told you to pick one above the others, your choice would be incorrect. For example, many people might say something like wealth or prosperity are at the top, but when you start analyzing, it turns out that stability and security are the most valued. Wealth and prosperity can lead to feeling solid and secure. They are a means to an end. If having lots of money and success does not provide those feelings, they may eventually be meaningless to the person and no longer considered core values. It takes time and incites to get to the truth of the matter.
I am happy that I learned "the Clarity Method" and plan to use a version of it in the future with my clients. If you want help finding out what your core values might be, you know where to find me.
I hope to see you at my webinar on March 24th. Did I mention it is free and absolutely not a sales pitch? So, you don't have to scroll back to the top, here is the link again: https://my.demio.com/ref/xjH51nXGdItWjDuh. If you are thinking of changing jobs or careers, or just want to feel better about the job you have, you might get some valuable tips if you attend.
Until the next time, I wish you the best. Remember, always be resolved.